Parenting Under the Stars

My son wants a dog. He has no brothers, so I guess he thinks a dog is the next best thing. Playing dolls and house with his six-year sister isn’t cutting it. I even kind of wanta little furry thing to love. I don’t want the poop or mess or smell, but I will take those things with the package if it will enrich the children’s lives.

It would be nice to have something curled up at my feet while I write. I do get cold in the winter. Am I being dillusional? My husband thinks so. He is not the slightest bit interested. I’m going to have to brace myself for a long battle if I want to win this one. I’m going to have to plan carefully. My proposal can’t be based on emotion, although is there any other reason that people get dogs? I will have to be practical and lay out a plan. I will have to be fastidious about cleaning up after it. I will have to never get mad at the dog, because then it will be thrown back in my face that I was the one who wanted it. I will have to save some money for when it gets sick. Will I be able to do these things? I think so. But I will have to prove it first.

Two of my girls want a dog, too. Sammie is constantly researching pets. The latest one is a chinchilla. What? I would rather have a dog than a chinchilla any day. That sounds too exotic to me. I am sure she’d choose a dog, too, if given the choice. The only pet experience we have was guinea pigs. I left them out in the sun one hot day and they died. The next guinea pig got cancer and died. I guess death is one of the realities you have to deal with.

It’s fall and beautiful out. It would be a great time to get a dog. I would love to see the kids frolicking in the leaves with a dog. And that is a picture that is completely based on emotion.

My son’s soccer team, the Raptors, isn’t doing so great this year. I’d like to think it’s only because Nathan’s playing in a cast wrapped in bubble wrap, but I’m sure it’s more than that. They are a new team, not used to playing together, and they’re a small team. They’re starting to fade about 10 minutes after half time, with not many fresh players to roate in. The last two games they were slaughered 8-0 and 7-0 respectively.

At practice yesterday the coaches’ wife said, “The coach will be available after practice to talk to any parents who want to talk.” I looked at her in a puzzled way and said, “Is there something we need to talk about?” She said, “Well, some parents are upset that we’re not winning.”

I reassured her that I appreciated the coach not screaming and throwing tantrums like other coaches do, and that his positive, calm attitude about winning and losing was a great role model for the boys. Winning isn’t everything. Apparently some parents think it is. I admit it’s painful to watch your team get creamed without a goal to their name, but life has a lot of ups and downs. Winning’s fun, but in real life you have a lot of losses before you make a win.

I noticed that parents on our team aren’t really cheering for them. Maybe their lack of enthusiasm is contributing to the team’s slump on the field. Parents need to cheer when the team is down and not just when they’re scoring. The boys can sense the worry on the sidelines when they’re out there, and that may contribute to the losing streak. Parents can learn a lot about soccer etiquette from this article. It has some great, practical suggestions.

Today I have treat. Maybe I’ll try and make it a fun treat that celebrates their team, instead of just a rice krispie treat and a capri sun. Maybe I’ll turn into an obnoxious cheerleader Mom, who everyone else wishes would sit down and be quiet. But when your team’s down, you gotta do something.

When deciding what activities to put your children in, the question really should be “How much time, effort and money am I willing to put into this sport, music, lesson, or whatever?”

I was recently reading an article in the paper (can’t remember which paper or what day) about sports and kids. About how parents have sacrificed all their free time and work around the house time to attend sports events all over their state and maybe even neighboring state. About how they are paying tons of money for their chidren to hone their skills in their chosen activity. The author asked the question: Is it really prudent to focus all a family’s resources on the activities their children want to do?

Most parents, by instrict, would say of course not. Don’t I as a parent deserve to have a life too, and not devote my every waking hour to molding my child into what society thinks they should be? Or what my children are passionate about? Apparently, many parents are saying “no” to soley devoting their lives to helping their children become a “star” in their chosen area.

This is a hard question, especially if you have talented children, children who excel in one thing or many things. First, off how do you choose which talent to develop? And is it wise to “put all the eggs into one basket?” What if that activity turns out not to be so perfect as you thought, and your child has missed out on other opportunities?

Hmmmmm. As a kid I remember participating in tons of activities–tennis, dance, softball, violin, piano, track and gymnastics. I did all of these things (not all at the same time!) from the time I was in kindergarten until I was about 17. As a result, I have a little taste of all of these things, but I’m not really good at any of them. I’m a “jack of all trades, master of none,” as the saying goes. I’m OK with that. I would have missed out on a many great opportunities like student government and working on the student newspaper, if I would have been too busy at one activity to have time to try anything else.

I love the book “Confessions of a Slacker Mom”by Muffy-Mead Ferro. She makes so many good points about following instincts. She says, “But I do hope it (the book) will give you enough to mull over that the next time you hear from some magazine, TV show, friend or in-law about the latest thing that you as a parent, are supposed to do or buy, you’ll pause. And if you hear your inner voice saying something like “yuck” you’ll listen. That’s a good sign it’s something you can skip, and you and your children might all be better off.

She has a great point. What are your opinions?

My three girls have all loved the book Mudpies and Other Recipes, a Cookbook for Dolls by Marjorie Winslow, written in 1961. It has provided countless hours of entertainment for them, and I want to recommend it in late summer, because there will possibly never be more “ingredients” available in your yard than right now. The picture I include here is some sort of petal soup.

Samantha and Leah spent two hours creatiing a tantalizing feast of all they could find in the yard last weekend. It was kind of a last hurrah for the summer. I hesitate to throw them away because each dish was so creatively and thoughtfully done. Well done, girls.

The description on the back of the book says, “No supermarket is as well-stocked as a forest, a sand dune, or your own backyard, and everyone knows that dolls dote on mud, when properly prepared. Invite everyone for Pencil Sharpener Pudding, Dandelion Souffle, Wood Chip Dip, and of course, Mud Pies. Erik Blegvad’s fetching illustrations provide the perfect dressing for Marjorie Winslow’s outdoor cookbook for dolls.”

I originally found the book at Chinaberry, the world’s best place to find the perfect books. But when I checked for it there, it wasn’t available.