Parenting Under the Stars

Allan shared a touching story about a little boy who blamed himself for not one but two fathers abandoning him. (Thinking About the Sins of the Fathers at Easter)

It is important for children to have positive male and female role models but if one parent leaves, how do we help compensate for that? If you have an extended family nearby that certainly helps because an uncle, aunt, cousin or grandparent can be there for support.

• According to the National Center for Fathering, more than 27 million children live apart from their fathers. (The Importance of Father Figures in a Teen’s Life)

Also, why is it so common when one walks away from a marriage or relationship to sever ties with the children? I know in some cases the other parent makes it harder for the other to have access but sometimes it appears that they feel no responsibility to maintain a relationship with their children.

Marriage is supposed to be a sacred union that’s taken seriously. A big part of the reason it should be taken so seriously is that there are often children involved. If marriage is looked at as something to try out for a couple years, that can cause some serious damage and confusion to a child.

At the same time I agree no person should have to tolerate abuse and in some cases marriages have to end for a family’s safety. Frequently though something can be done to prevent the breakdown of a family and parents can still be involved after marriage ends. If society doesn’t value the importance of both parents, it makes it hard for children to learn how to be an involved role model later for their own children.

• See First Things First: The Importance of Positive Male Role Models on ideas on how to make a difference for a child when there is no father present.

An Angus Reid Survey by the Peanut Bureau of Canada has shown that many people are confused about food allergies and their causes.

Allergies are not as common as what people think because according to the survey only 2% of the adult population in Canada has actually been diagnosed with one.

• At WebMD it says that 2 to 4% adults and 6 to 8% of children have food allergies.

Health Canada recognizes nine primary food allergens but most people only mentioned peanuts and milk.

Food Bans in Schools

I didn’t know this but there is no legislation in Canada to ban foods in schools. The reason I didn’t know this is that certain foods like peanuts are usually banned anyway. I do understand banning certain foods in a classroom if someone is severely allergic to them. Apparently, most experts don’t support bans but encourage education on allergies and having emergency plans in place.

The nine primary food allergens are:

1. Peanuts
2. Milk
3. Wheat
4. Sesames seeds
5. Soy
6. Tree nuts
7. Fish and Shellfish
8. Eggs
9. Sulfites (preservatives)

Food allergies can cause your immune system to have a severe reaction so it’s important to be vigilant, pay attention to food labels and teach your children to do the same. Anaphylaxis is an allergic reaction that may include swelling and/or trouble breathing so can be life threatening.

An intolerance is not the same thing as an allergy although it can still cause severe problems. An example of a common food intolerance is lactose intolerance. About 10% of people are thought to be lactose intolerant.

Read “Is it an Allergy or Intolerance” for more. It’s still best to seek an allergist’s expert advice rather than try to self diagnose an allergy.

Here are my daughters getting ready for spring by sewing skirts. One isn’t really into sewing so she wasn’t that eager to be included but you can sort of see her.

We are all going to have some cheerful colorful skirts anyway although not thrilled about the brown polka dots. I do love skirts in the spring though since they’re so breezy and cool.

For some of your own skirt sewing ideas, see:

• How to sew a wrap skirt on Crafzine.com. I love these but don’t think my daughters will.

• Going Sew Crazy has a tutorial for making twirly skirts for girls.

We seem to have jammed the machine so will have to show the finished product another day. We used an “easy” pattern that you can do in an hour. Yeah, right. I tore the house apart looking for pliers since I couldn’t get the needle out otherwise. Now that it’s out, they’re all in bed.

Boxers for Boys

The boys can get some breezy boxers or shorts. That will be fun shopping for fabric for those. It’s the small things in life. Stitches and Seams has a tutorial on boxers and Thread Banger shows us how to make boxers from pillow cases.

Beginner Sewing Projects

Do you want some ideas on sewing with your kids or are you just starting out yourself? Debbie Colgrove on Sewing at About.com has gathered a collection of projects geared for beginners requiring basic straight stitching.

I don’t know what it is about spring but it seems to get my crafty creative juices flowing. I also finally cleared out the entranceway, put up a new mirror and am feeling the urge to paint. Happy spring.

Now that we have dyed and decoupaged our Easter eggs we’re preparing for the egg hunt. The kids look forward to it every year and my husband comes up with a list of hilarious clues for them to go by.

Last year he hid the eggs so well however that I only recently found one. Luckily it was not a hard boiled egg but a small chocolate one.

They get so much chocolate it’s ridiculous. Some goes in the freezer but it’s only good for so long like that. It starts turning this weird gray color after awhile and I wouldn’t even eat it, and I’m not that fussy. None of my kids are fussy either, which is a good thing because I make the same meal for everyone and I guess they caught on to that.

I don’t get much chocolate for them anymore but other people do. They enjoy getting toys like skipping ropes, balls and bubbles too.

Traditional Easter Food

It depends on where you’re from but around here it’s mainly ham and lamb or perhaps a turkey. We’re not crazy about ham or lamb and I forgot to get a turkey but FamilyFun has a yummy collection of Easter recipes.

Alternative Easter Food

I’m making the Streusel Coffee Cake since I have all the ingredients and it’s easier than hot cross buns. Their dinner recipes are heavy on the ham though so will have to keep thinking about the rest of the menu. If you would like to explore some different food this Easter, check out BBC Food- Easter Around the World.

This is a decoupage egg I made by simply mixing half white glue and water, soaking the pic for a couple minutes and gluing it onto the egg.

It would be easier to use a smaller circular picture so you wouldn’t have those little bungles but I still think it’s cute. I got the idea from Family Fun’s Arts and Crafts page.

Dye eggs naturally

There are many things you can use to dye eggs naturally. Here are some ideas to get you started.

• Beets for pink

• Coffee for brown

• Paprika for orange

• Raspberries for red

• Turmeric or mustard for yellow

• Blueberries for blue

• Grape Juice or wine for purple

Want some more ideas? See Erinn’s Green Easter post on Parenting Children.

Easter Egg Shell Project Idea

What to do with the eggs later? Sherri from Family Crafts explains how to make an Egg Shell Mosaic on poster board. It sounds fun and it’s a wonderful way to recycle all those dyed eggs into another work of art.

I rarely go exactly by a recipe, which is how I end up creating new things our family likes but thought I would share this cabbage roll recipe with you. Cabbage is a good source of vitamin C, K, B6, calcium and fiber.

I began with Cabbage Rolls II, thanks to Dasha on All Recipes. I could have simply thrown some rice and meat together but wanted an idea about proportions.

I haven’t made these in ages but the kids went nuts. It’s probably partially because I have been feeding them the same old things for weeks and a change is as good as a rest. I boiled the cabbage for a couple minutes and the first few leaves came off fine but underneath they were stiff so had to cook them again.

The filling

• I used about a pound and a half of ground pork because that’s what I happened to have but beef would work.
• For the rice I used two cups of cooked leftover curried basmati rice that had peas in it.
• I small chopped onion because I add onion to just about everything.
• 1 clove of minced garlic
• 2 eggs helped hold it all together. (Mix it all together like you would meatloaf)

If the leaves are soft enough they roll up easily. I put about a quarter cup of filling in each and wrapped it the same way you would a burrito. I did not add the milk that Dasha had in her recipe, but if you want a juicier filling, go for it.

The sauce

• For the sauce, I used a large can of tomato paste with two cans of water, two tablespoons of lemon juice and two teaspoons of sugar. A bit of salt and pepper too.

After all the cabbage rolls were filed in the roasting pan I poured the sauce on top and cooked them for a little over two hours in the oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit. If you’re taking off for the day, do like Dasha and use the slow cooker on low for eight or nine hours.

Vegetarian Cabbage Rolls

Try carrots, onions, celery, zucchini, peppers, mushrooms, peas or any combination of these or others in place of the meat and mix with rice. Here’s a vegetarian cabbage roll recipe video that sounds delicious. Maria J. Ronquillo uses crumbled veggie burgers along with the veggies and brown rice. Maybe next time.

Ugh. I was already behind on laundry and now pink eye is spreading through our home.

Everything could use a once over anyway I suppose. Disinfecting doorknobs, laundry and doling out eye drops will keep me busy today.

About Pink Eye

What’s the difference between pink eye and a “cold in your eye”? My dad used to call it that but wondered it if it’s the same darned thing. Inquiring minds want to know.

At MedicineNet.com I found out there’s viral pink eye and bacterial pink eye. Cold symptoms often accompany viral pink eye so dad was right. Both are contagious so either way the children have to stay home today. Antibiotic drops usually are not required with the viral type but prescriptions are often given out anyway because they look similar.

I’m glad this happened before their birthday party because I just booked the bowling alley and they’re looking forward to it. No matter how many children I allow them to invite, it’s never enough.

Beginning Photography

I did receive my new camera for my birthday but I’m still figuring it out. I took a couple pictures for my candle blog and cut off my husband’s head so still need practice. The software wouldn’t install on my computer but it didn’t look that useful and I can operate it without it anyway.

Have a budding photographer in the house? Most kids love taking pictures. At BetterPhoto.come, Beginning Photography Tips:Top 10 Techniques for Better Pictures will give you a good start.

Our twins’ birthday is coming up and we all somehow agreed to go bowling. That doesn’t happen every year.

They have this glow in the dark bowling if you spring an extra buck or two so we’re going for that. The last time we played it was a blast but my legs were sore. It doesn’t look that strenuous but I guess if you’re not used to using certain muscles you’ll feel it.

Last year we went for laser tag. It was extremely noisy but they had a lot of fun. The lazer place was a little pushy about using a certain type of pizza. I wasn’t thrilled about that since I’m stuck in my ways so defiantly ordered my usual anyway.

One year we went roller skating. I think that was my favorite because it made me feel like a kid again. We should do that as a family again just because.

Birthday Parties at Home

Home parties don’t seem to work out as well the older they get. They’re not any cheaper either by the time you buy all the decorations and food.

One year we had a jungle theme that I had a lot of fun with and the prizes were snakes and spiders and stuff like that. Since they’re boy/girl twins the boys seemed more thrilled with it.

I got the idea from FamilyFun.com (It’s a Jungle Celebration) and you can still check out more of their ideas there if you want. I made this snake cake which they show you how to create. FamilyFun.com has fun printable labels for crazy food and cranberries become dried ants, apple wedges are croc teeth etc.

There’s a heck of a lot of mess to clean up after a party at home which is another downfall. Our place is not that big either so people are falling all over each other trying to squeeze into one room. If it was summer we could have a barbecue or something but it’s kind of cold and slushy right now.

Last Minute Birthday Party Invites

This has happened to me twice with my youngest daughter in the last couple weeks and it drives me crazy. She insists that they said it’s fine and not to get a present because there was so little notice. I wouldn’t feel right sending her off to a party with no present or money so always come up with something.

Once we painted a pretty personalized jewelry box that I was quite proud of that started out as a plain wooden box. I wish I would have taken a picture of it. My camera is broken and today is my birthday so guess what I’m getting? It will be nice to post some of my own pics.

Thanks to Operation Bob (A Sign of Good Parenting) I came across this story about a 16 year old teenager who was caught speeding.

Part of his punishment was to wear a sign before and after school that said “I was stupid. I drove over 100mph and got caught. Thank God! I could have killed me and my friends.”(Teenager Shamed into Slowing Down)

He was going 107 mph in a 55mph zone so also had the car taken away. (Good call.) The mother said that more parents should be tougher on their children and her son Adam says he learned his lesson.

• Most of the people who left comments at Operation Bob agree with the mother’s punishment method and have cheered her on but I don’t believe this shame based solution would suit every child. According to the story Adam harbors no hard feelings so it does appear to have been effective.

In another instance though a different teen could have been on a suicide mission and already had low self esteem. Shaming him some more could possibly just send him over the edge so some sort of counseling or therapy would be a wiser choice.

Some might argue that the kid may have died speeding anyway so something drastic had to be done. I agree but don’t believe this particular method would be good for all teenagers. Every child is different but generally, many children will have long term negative effects from shame based discipline/punishment methods.

Using Shame to Control Behavior

The theory is that if you make a child feel bad enough, he will not repeat the behavior. The problem is that put downs and name calling often make a child feel worse so some end up acting out more.

So it’s not simply a matter of figuring out whether the punishment fits the crime but fitting the discipline method to your child’s personality. I know someone who was put down and humilated continuously from the time he was little and told that he was useless and would end up in prison. Guess where he ended up?

What would you do if your teen was caught speeding? Do you have any ideas for healthier alternatives?

We all know nutrition improves children’s physical health but there is more evidence that poor nutrition is linked with mental health and can lead to behavior problems.

It has been an ongoing debate because some disorders are genetic but diet influences brain development and behavior as well. I know because I have seen my kids become basket cases when it’s close to suppertime. It was more apparent when they were younger but what we feed them is also important.

Good Fats/Bad Fats

Fast fried food has become so common that many just continue out of habit not thinking about the long-term harm such a diet can cause. The fats found in processed foods such as trans fats are bad for you. Many children have a lot of junk in their diets that can lead to a deficiency of the essential good fats they need for brain development.

• Over 100 children participated in a study led by Dr.Richardson at Oxford University. Half were given omega 3 supplements while the other half were given placebos. The children receiving the omega 3 advanced much further in reading and spelling compared to the other group who progressed normally. (See Junk Food Diet Makes Children Badly Behaved & Junk Food Diet’s Damaged Brains of 200,000 Kids for more)

Omega 3 is an essential oil that is needed for brain development but it’s also good for your heart and helps improve memories and moods. It is important for pregnant women to obtain enough omega 3 in their diets in order for their babies to develop properly as well.

Brain Foods Rich in Omega 3

You can find omega 3 in fatty fish such as tuna and mackerel but it can also be obtained through green leafy vegetables (broccoli, lettuce, cabbage), seeds and nuts (cashews, pumpkin seeds, walnuts, flaxseeds).

I needed a couple money orders today for some bills so went off on a hike. I’m going to start paying everything online now though. Even my mom pays bills online.

This was not my normal route but I took it so I could sneak into the craft store. The cashier didn’t know me and informs me that I need to present ID to purchase the money orders.

I don’t know if I looked like a bank robber today or what but the other post office never asked me any such thing. I was traveling light and just switched bags so didn’t have much ID on me.

• The day I purchased the bag was an unlucky adventure as well but I’m pleased with my purse. I knocked over a small statue worth $180.00 with my butt while looking at hair clips for my daughter. I felt badly but they didn’t make me pay for it and glued the head back on. Yet another reason to plug Ten Thousand Villages. They certainly treat you better than the post office. I bought a lovely barrette with worry dolls on it for my youngest daughter and a little doll to display for my eldest.

Needless to say, the bills weren’t paid today and the kids didn’t get anything fancy for supper. On the upside, I had a wonderful long walk and the weather was beautiful. I was still extremely cranky because I wasn’t up to hiking up the hill in the other direction to go to the cashier that I know. When I do, I’m bringing all my ID just in case.

If groups of children are picking on one person whether it is for wearing thick glasses, being a different race, religion, wearing a hijab (hair covering), you can teach your child not to join in. Speak out against racism, bigotry and bullying.

• Some things seem to have improved and a simple thing like wearing glasses seems more accepted by children now. I remember my dad telling me he could not wear his glasses to school or he would have been killed, so he sat there half blind not being able to see the board.

Its fun learning about different countries and cultures and helping your children do this is an educational learning activity for the whole family. We can learn and celebrate differences while also exploring what we have in common.

Sometimes people make comments out of ignorance and just do not realize families come in all different colors. I remember when I first moved into our neighborhood my daughter came up to me upset because a little girl was insisting she was adopted since she was a different color from me. They are good friends and she understands now but at the time just did not know any better.

Prejudiced means that you prejudge someone and usually that is taught in the home. Peers later have an influence on children as well but usually if there is an open-minded tolerant attitude at home, it will reflect in their future dealings with other differences such as religions, races and cultures.